Old Haunting Thoughts

I thought I could enjoy myself tonight. I thought I could put the past behind. I was wrong on both counts.

We went out tonight. She called a friend of hers to join us. I was just disappointed. How could she do this to him, repeatedly? She said that she's with him, but her actions so far suggested otherwise. I think as soon as someone comes along, she'll definitely dump the both of them. She's too self-centered.
But the thing I do envy about her is that she can fall into a pile of shit and still come out smelling and looking like a bouquet of roses. That is the thing about her. And that is one of the things I am ultra jealous of.

On another thought, I do wonder: Would I ever had an admirer? They were mentioning about their admirers and BFs. I was just listening to them. It did nothing for my self-esteem, that's for sure.
But then again, I do have bigger fish to fry, at the moment. How to improve my relationship with them...

Time to go jogging again. I need the peace of mind that comes with it. It's my form of escape now, along with alcohol.

Nitez.