Back with a Vengence

Finally back. I need this more than ever. Lots of things to get off my chest and I can't spill my guts to anyone.

What else is new? He ended up owing people more money than ever. I was angry with him. But now the anger is almost over. Almost. I still feel the resentment at having to bear the burden of the loan. But it is still under my name. There is no running away from that.
Now I just hope and pray that F&C will still want him.

1 year on in the job. I know now more than ever that I am a fraud. They can easily do without me. What am I doing here? Everyone knows that I am just sitting pretty here. I am really political fodder. I don't know if I can hang on for 1 more year... I really am a fraud over there. I would rather go back to f&b any time.

Because of the financial burden, I am now back at Union, working on Saturdays and hopefully Fridays. This is still dependent on my schedule at work. I am happier working at Union. Less responsibility and people will not stab you in the back. But I could do with the resting time.
Only YY knows about it now. I can't afford to let any one else know.
But come to think about it, the most that can happen is that I'll lose the job. It's not like I love the job anyway. The family will have to do without my contribution then. But it's a huge load off my mind, if ever that were to happen...

Everyone I know is almost dysfunctional in their own way. This was a comment made by YY when she came over to my side today. Let me qualify that statement: people whom I am close to in the office are dysfunctional.

Tying myself to committments which will cost me. I really need to start working out my finances more carefully. The promise to a family lunch/dinner; the stupid bank loan; possibly 2 overseas trips early next year. And I'm fucking broke. Not to mention all the rest of the miscellaneous stuff. I'm fucking dead broke!

24 years of age. No money in the bank; stuck in a job which I abhor; dependent family members.
I'm supposed to be at one of the happy stage in my life but yet...
Guess the only thing I should be grateful for is that at least I don't have any BGR problems to add on to the above. Life's bad enough as it is.