Random thoughts

It has been a busy period, what with assign week and the stupid event. But these are the ones that kept on recurring in my mind...

Why was I so stupid? I really thought she was one of the good ones. But I really developed a resentment against her when she threw all her work at me, especially when it's all last-minute! If she threw them at me earlier on, I don't mind. But like I said, all last-minute! And I was foolish enough to accept it. But after this event on, I will not be so foolish anymore. I will not be any of her 2IC, if I can escape...

Another 'Ifs'. Why can't he be my boss? I really think he's a good boss. Better than my current one. But there is nothing I can do about this. Add on to the fact that I sense this feeling of dislike creeping into my interactions with her.

Arugh... will life always be this complicated?

She wants me to be on her side. But to do so, would be against them... Can't I be neutral, like him? Or what he seems to advocate?

Another random thought. What do I plan to do with the rest of my life? My personal life, that I'm referring to... Drinking and making merry with them, I'm just pondering over there. While I do want to live for the moment, there are consequences I have to face.
Brings me to him. He reminds me so much of another. I would really have a crash on him, if I were to be working under him. He's someone whom I can trust and confide in. Would that explain why I tend to be so quiet around him? Maybe... But seriously, he's someone whom I can take after my own heart.

Enough for now. Let me get as much sleep as possible and face a potential horrid day tomorrow.

=)

Gullibility

This topic just struck me all of a sudden.

The actual incident happened a while back ago. But right now thinking back about it, I just realised he's not all whom I made out to be.
He's not an ally of mine. He made himself seem to be one but he's not.

Nor can I ever so readily admit that it's my fault anymore. This does not reflect well on the unit. I don't care about me. But it concerns others who work in the unit. Learn to develop a thicker hide and to better hide my feelings.

How many times have this happened to me since I embarked on this new stage in life? That I have been taken in by the mere words of others without sceptism on my part? Is this why people become so jaded as they grow older?

Forgotten individuals

In this case, it's namely 1 specific individual.
Him. I thought it was a dead topic, buried six feet and beyond. But I was wrong. When she mentioned the situation that he was in, my heart went out to him.
Had I been at the place there and then, I would not be able to take it. I remember all the hurt and tears that he caused. But now, I just cannot bear to picture him in the situation that she described.

Was it me escaping when I told them I did not want to go? I must confess I was just lazy and couldn't be bothered.

Right now, I just feel sorry for him.

Can blood ties ever be severed? Can I ever be cold-blooded? Could I and would I?